Everything Is Illuminated

“He awoke each morning with the desire to do right, to be a good and meaningful person, to be, as simple as it sounded and as impossible as it actually was, happy. And during the course of each day his heart would descend from his chest into his stomach. By early afternoon he was overcome by the feeling that nothing was right, or nothing was right for him, and by the desire to be alone. By evening he was fulfilled: alone in the magnitude of his grief, alone in his aimless guilt, alone even in his loneliness. I am not sad, he would repeat to himself over and over, I am not sad. As if he might one day convince himself. Or fool himself. Or convince others--the only thing worse than being sad is for others to know that you are sad. I am not sad. I am not sad. Because his life had unlimited potential for happiness, insofar as it was an empty white room. He would fall asleep with his heart at the foot of his bed, like some domesticated animal that was no part of him at all. And each morning he would wake with it again in the cupboard of his rib cage, having become a little heavier, a little weaker, but still pumping. And by the midafternoon he was again overcome with the desire to be somewhere else, someone else, someone else somewhere else. I am not sad.” -Jonathan Safran Foer


Well that pretty much explains how i've been feeling lately. so ya not much new going on just slowly getting closer to the wedding! Sometimes it still seems really far away...But i can hold out til then because Kim is the most amazing woman and being with her for eternity will be the greatest blessing i could ask for! But work has been kind of rough and i just hate all the waiting it takes its toll...i just feel like i dont really accomplish anything anymore and that im not really moving forward just always waiting....So ya the wedding cant come soon enough!!!!!

I got nothing left inside of my chest, but its all alright

So it has been a long time since i've written on here. Its about time so lots of new things have happened in the last couple months It has been one of the hardest months of my life and yet a very good month for some necessary growing...first the good things. Kimberly is still amazing and always will be and i love her more than ever! I'm feeling at peace with everything a lot more than i have been recently and i have a job that pays well. So those are the good things going on right now and some of the bad are we have had to push the wedding back due to some circumstances and we wont be able to move the date of the cruise...So we either lost 1300 dollars or i have to go with my mom or dad or Kim goes with somebody we are still working on that, hopefully we figure something out. Kim is up in Boise for summer break and im glad she is with her family and has them to be with her during her trials...But i miss her a lot when she leaves we had a good weekend when she came down on Saturday she always helps me see the bright side and feel better about our trials and tests in life. I am so lucky to have her!!! So the new date for the wedding has been officially decided and its going to be August 11th. You would think with still having 3 months we could take a break and relax but no we are still busier than ever with plans and with all the changes that need to be made. So anyway just kind of jumping around but work has been a blessing albiet a very difficult blessing. Its one of the hardest jobs that i have ever had but it is rewarding in a way, and it is a blessing to be making money for our future. It feels like sometimes you can never quite make enough though. But i am grateful for the gospel and tithing cause i know its the only thing keeping me afloat! and just to prove that i bought Kim a birthday present i got her some snorkeling/scuba diving gear so hopefully she likes it. She didn't like the price though i can tell you that. But i figure Kim never likes to spend money so thats okay. Its going to be a long 3 months before the wedding and im not looking forward to it. But it is worth it to be sealed and have eternity with Kimberly. So anyway thats the update on my life, still miss AZ and Jbag but not much i can do about that, so life goes on!

Life has its ups and downs

So i haven't written in a couple weeks but i decided it was time. So life has been a little crazy lately i had a great holiday weekend with my beautiful fiancée in Provo. We took our engagement pictures and we had an m&m party at Samily's house. We are working on our invitations and should have those done soon!!! Ummm then i got back home i had two tests that i took and did okay on. Then life hit the down part i was in a car accident with Monica yesterday and i totaled the car. :( So i haven't been feeling all that great lately about that. Its gonna make things harder than they are and with the wedding coming up and me not having a job its really stressful. But i will push through and continue to the end! The Lord has definitely blessed me in so many other ways and me and Monica are safe so thats what really matters. Lets see some other fun things are Fun.'s new cd came out so I'm thrilled about that and have listened to it nonstop for the last 2 days. Kimberly is coming up here to visit this weekend I'm excited about that. Anyway thats my life right now.

p.s. here is the link for 2 of our engagement pictures if you haven't seen them yet. We should have them all edited and ready hopefully by the end of this week.   jennieraephotography.blogspot.com

Weekend in Boise

Well just got home from Boise with Kimberly it was a short but very productive trip! We got her ring :) and we also got a lot of things done for the wedding. It was nice to see her family again i really like all of them. I hope they can stand me for the rest of their lives haha. But anyway i already miss Kim so i will say it again long distance sucks! But she is completely worth it. Its valentines day weekend this next weekend and i have Kim's present all planned out and ready. Well this was a short one but an important one....oh ya and we emailed that Jordan Bagnall kid who i love so much so ya really good weekend!

First Time

So just made this and figured i would do it so Kimberly could follow along with my life and thoughts like i do with hers! I'm so excited to see her tomorrow! We have been apart all week, this long distance stuff is a pain but it will be worth it in May! So other than that life goes on. School is going well hopefully i will finish this semester with decent grades in all my classes. Rexburg is still as cold as ever and doesn't seem like that will be changing anytime soon! I just finished writing a paper for one of my classes and now just have to have Kim edit it for me (one of the blessing of having an english major as a fiancee). The family is doing well back at home the little girls are weird to say the least and enjoying the heat without me. They are still doing really well in soccer. Mom and dad are normal (if you can call dad normal) and are such a great help to me like always. other than that not much is new...we are slowly getting things ready for the wedding we are taking things of the checklist a day at a time. Hopefully the stress doesn't kill Kim or give her an ulcer like she keeps saying. Anyway life is good I'm glad i get to see her every weekend this month! We are going to Boise this weekend to see her sister's baby blessing and to get her official ring. So very excited for that! Well thats about all for now.